Diary of a Broken Heart
by Charred
Summary: A heart can be so easily broken. The way to mend your broken heart is all up to you. One sided YohxRen, YohxAnna, hint of HaoxRen.


Hi. Another Shaman king story. Only, this is a true account only with replacement in characters and a few events to keep up with the Shaman King storyline. Yup, the reason I haven't been really updating my other story, Kami no Kaze, is because I've been really upset for the past...month...especially this week. Writing this has allowed me to really heal and get over this event. Keeping it in hasn't really been that helpful and I hope that this will help other people not follow in my footsteps.  
  
Declaimer: I do not own Shaman King. Don't make me more pissed off than I am.  
  
Diary of a Broken Heart  
By Kenko/Charred  
  
May 29, 2004

> _Dear Diary,  
  
Well, this is the first time I'm writing here. Onee-chan got me this diary, saying something like, "You'll be needing this later on. Write in it. It'll help you." How weird. She can be so obscure sometimes. Moving on. You know what I realized today? Yoh has a crush on someone. And he is really into that 'someone'. I've had the feeling that he doest have a crush on someone in that my 'relationship radar' has been tell me so, but seeing him studder and blush at me grilling him about just made it so much more true. I heard from Anna that the person he likes is the person who he a) has gotten to really know during the Shaman King Tourtament and b) Is going to staying in Tokyo. The problem Yoh has is that he doesn't want a long distance relationship. Yoh is going to Osaka University with Hao because Yoh couldn't get into Tokyo University. Hao just wanted to get away from people. Now, the only person I know who's staying in Tokyo is Anna and I. I'm confused. At first, was happy that Yoh has a crush on someone, on the other hand, that person that he likes may not be me. KISAMA! I really haven't told Bason any of this yet._
> 
> _May 30, 2004 _
> 
> _Dear Diary,  
  
I didn't know it was possible to get Yoh angry, but I did. Probably because Yoh was still moping over the fact that his crush is staying in Tokyo and he's going to be in nowhereville. In anger, I told him that if he doesn't ask this person out, he's going to regret it and that he's going to live his life full of regret. And also that he needs to "grow some fucking balls". Smart move Ren. Now, he's avoiding you and not talking to you. While I was shopping for my tux for the prom today, I told Bason this, he was absolutely thrilled that I finally found someone. I tried to act all cool and unaffected. It threw Bason off for a while. Anna was extremely upset because her friend just got in a car accident. I wasn't there personally but Manta said that it was the first time he saw her cry.  
  
May 31, 2004 _
> 
> _Dear Diary,  
  
Okay, things have gotten real confusing. I was talking to Hao online the other day, and he tells me that Yoh has a crush on me and that because I told him to grow some fucking balls, he's pissed at me and said that he hated me. I was...well hurt I really didn't want to hurt Yoh. I really loved him. Hao then decided to tell everyone from Horo Horo to Anna that I liked him. I stayed up, hoping the Yoh would go online. He did and I apologized (in way that he might not understand) and told him to meet me before first period. I should confront him. Shouldn't tomorrow, shouldn't I?_
> 
> _  
June 1, 2004 _
> 
> _ Dear Diary,  
  
I'm ready to poke someone's eye out with my hair soon or stab someone. I AM SO PISSED. First, Yoh doesn't show up to talk to me. Then, Hao doesn't come to school! I was only planning to pour acid on him or burn him in chemistry lab today! I need to vent. My teacher would have let me get away with it! Well, I took it out my poor groupie. Yes, I have a group of fangirls. I'm usually nice to them, but today, they just seemed a little annoying. I finally email Yoh saying that if he's ignoring me anymore, I'll never speak to him again and that if our friendship means anything to him, he'll tell me what's wrong. I felt so much better. May be, there is some chance for us after all. Well, it worked. He's speaking to me again. But things are kind of awkward. Weird, Hao actually apologized to me for spreading rumors about me. We actually had a decent conversation.  
  
June 2, 2004 _
> 
> _ Dear Diary,  
  
Okay...Hao's mood swings are scary. Like really scary. One minute, because Hao and I are laugh, the next, he's pissed and giving me the silent treatment. Conversation is still weird with Yoh. I'm just about to give up. People tell me to get over him, and I should. But I just can't seem to do so.  
  
June 3, 2004 _
> 
> _ Dear Diary,  
  
I have a feeling something is amiss. I saw Yoh and Anna coming to school together. Both of them were all smiles, something I didn't expect Anna to do since she was so upset about her friend. It was awkward I felt like the third wheel for the first time. I've hung out with them multiply times, but I've never felt like the third wheel before. And also, Yoh was so happy in history class too. Weird. Hao is still angry with me. My relationship radar is telling me that Hao likes me. This is getting too complicated. KISAMA.  
  
June 4, 2004 _
> 
> _ Dear Diary  
  
I got my yearbook. I really proud of it considering how I am the editor in chief it. As I leaf through it however, I just realized how many pictures of Yoh it is in it. I don't remember Yoh being in so many clichés and school organizations. Hao is still giving me the silent treatment.  
  
June 5, 2004 _
> 
> _ Dear Diary,  
  
It's amazing how strong denial is. How could I not see it? Yesterday night, I found out from Horo Horo that he saw Yoh and Anna walking out of Shrek 2 hand in hand. Yoh likes Anna. I knew I should have listened to my relationship radar instead of Hao. I guess wanted it to be wrong so badly that...I just ignored it. And now, I'm banging my head with my spear, wishing I could take back very hint I gave him. Wishing I could take back all the feelings I had for him. Wishing, I never told him to go for it with the person. But the thing is. I could never bring myself to hate Anna or Yoh. Wow, I can't my own advice would have hurt me so much. The Great Spirit must be laughing his ass off now. This would explain why Yoh is avoiding me. It really hurts, when I found out they were going out. But it was also a side that was relieved. I guess I can stop guessing now. I guess I can move on.  
_  
As Ren was writing, tears feel down his cheek. When he finished, he closed the book, put it underneath his bed and let out a sigh. He turned on his computer and went online.  
  
_Soul of a Samurai:_ hey
> 
> _Ill poke u w/ my hair:_ So, I heard you finally grew so fucking balls...
> 
> _Ill poke u w/ my hair:_ Hey, I'm sorry I pissed you off the other day, Hao.
> 
> _Burn Baby BURN_: that's alright...  
  
OWARI


End file.
